it's back to school night...already?

As usual, nothing has changed and everything has changed....

Walking into my daughter's new principal's opening speech, the one that sets the tone for the year to come was a little bit creepy...He was at that moment telling the audience how by putting their children into AP classes, they are cashing in on a SIXTY THOUSAND DOLLAR savings in their future college costs.

I considered going directly to him and asking for a check since nothing of the kind is true in reality for my daughter or her friends, all new freshman students this year. As a matter of fact, and with a great deal of good sense, my daughter is enrolled in several classes she could have "skipped over" but it is not like her to want to lose out on the opportunity to study subjects she feels are important in a manner that offers depth, and with a knowledgable, prepared, and enthusiastic teacher...

The teachers have changed...There is a huge influx of shiny new faces. They are bright, enthusiastic, new, young teachers. My daughter loves them. And I can see why. For that, I am grateful...but I can't help but worry how they will fare. I am selfish enough at this point to hope they at least fare the year.

My soul still aches for the teachers who surrendered; the veterans. I never seem to shake off the memory of a teacher going to a Board of Education meeting here several years ago, holding up a white flag, and quitting on the spot...it still bothers me. I miss seeing the carriers of light--the kind of teacher who boldly speaks up, even if it is provocative or controversial; they are gone now, fired.

The teachers who stick around look sort of wounded, really. It saddens me to know how reluctantly they keep their jobs to survive mortgages and raising families, keeping retirement plans intact, but how much they have given up and given over... The changes robbed them of their joy....

A few veteran teachers seem okay; they have obviously convinced themselves that working within the present oppression is yet another educational trend. They might have convinced themselves that they can work around the policies, or that it is okay to work within them. I dunno, I know my child's perception is that "adequate" is not enough. And I agree, naturally.

Our new superintendent is busy "visiting every school in the district." He already seems to have engaged his team of people who never seem to have any of the complaints crucial to me or the other parents or kids or teachers I know. He is already armed with his head-nodding, invisable to me, clan of such people in firm agreement with how great things are going and how much the policies of standardization and beefed up testing have proven "progress" in our schools.

Ugh...

I still mourn our loss of opportunity; we could have hired a superintendent who would refuse to engage in such a horrid, destructive policy. We could have done better. We were so close....

With one child out of this stressful experience and one child right in the middle of it, I search for positives. The high-schooler is remarkably insightful and hard-working. Her teachers really see and respond to her and her fine qualities. As usual, most of her time outside of school will be devoted to endless worksheets and test-prep. The little remaining time, I hope, will be spend with an eye on her sister and the wonderful experiences she is having after high school. There is still a lot to look forward to. And we will steal her away from her burden with distraction and opportunities to learn with joy and purpose...and help her to choose sleep when enough is enough late at night...

So soon it will be autumn. Time to mark the phases of our lives with the sights and sounds and smells of another season...

I stare at the pictures of them when they were little...the girls have grown from beautiful babies, into amazing children, into wonderful teens, so quickly, it now seems...and so much has changed...and so much has not.